I overslept this morning and ran to my first class without putting on any makeup. On Wednesday mornings, I have three classes in a row, and halfway through the second one, I realized that I have hickeys all over my neck.
For the past few months, I've been doing pretty well about not acting the way that I did towards the end of high school. I had only slept with one person the entre semester, and I had learned to limit myself when it came to making out with random guys (like certain rugby players). I hadn't had any one night stands, and I was learning that it was okay to go more than a few weeks without having sex.
But then last night, we were at Mellow Mushroom for open mic night, and Brad's friend Ryan was visiting from Florida. I had met him before, once, when UF playd LSU, and we kissed before the game, but I refused to talk to him after LSU lost. (That's when you know you're a real Tiger fan.) So last night he bought me a Budweiser and sat with his arm around me, tracing circles on my lower back. And before I had time to think things over, my hand was creeping up his inner thigh and we were leaving together.
Ordinarily I would talk about how I have no willpower, but I honestly don't regret it. I'm tired of worrying about what people think of my sex life, and I'm tired of wanting to be something that I'm not. That's not to say that I'm going to start sleeping with every guy that I meet, but I'm not nearly as concerned with living up to other people's expectations about waiting anymore. And I think that's progress for me.
Elise and I arent doing as well as usual lately - she seems annoyed with me about little things like keeping my lamp on while studying for my biology test or letting Ryan stop by our room for 5 minutes while she's sleeping. She snaps at me when I mention that I'm considering skipping a class, and she lectures me on the importance of reading my biology homework instead of a Tom Robbins book that I've read about 800 times. I dont know, maybe it's cabin fever. We'll see how things work out after Thanksgiving break.
nicole: 19-year-old LSU sophomore. biochemistry, pre-med. native new orleanian. starbucks barista. borderline alcoholic. addicted to facebook, red bull and vodka, and college football. a little neurotic, extremely indecisive, and often irresponsible.
